New Year, New Start, New Me

I have a lot of goals for the new year.  The year 2012 was a difficult  for me.  So much loss and heartache.  I spent last year taking care of my mom.  Most of you know that she was diagnosed with Alzheimers.  It's been heartbreaking for me to lose my mom little by little.  I miss her terribly as the part of her that use to be the caring and loving mom is gone.  I miss those moments of talking to her about my day, my children and life in general.  I've experienced emotions that I never knew I had and have struggled with depression.  I know that changes have to be made for me personally.  When I saw the January sketch challenge at Once Upon A Sketch I knew it was the perfect challenge for me:

The new year is among us. What better way to celebrate change, renewed hope and having a positive attitude than with a brand new year? A new start...a new horizon and the start of something new! A new year is full of possibilities. So in honor of the start of 2013, we would like you to create a layout and interpret the theme "The start of something new..." however you like. Whatever that sentence inspires you to scrap then go for it.

I am also entering my layout in the February Challenge black and white photo at Inkido.

 I have to mention that my son criticized the picture of me on this layout.  He questioned why I had to use a picture of me that was so serious, yet so sad.  I told him that I wanted to use a picture of how I am now,  and hopefully down the road will do another layout of myself with a cheery smiling picture.

I loved working with Nadia's sketch:

My favorite part of the layout is the bottom right hand corner.  I used a large fabric button from Purple Pumpkin which symbolizes me caring for my mom. I surrounded her picture with flowers as she loved to tend to her flowers.

The boots and umbrella symbolize the rain, which Mom always said, "I never mind a little rain, as it saves me watering".  

My title, so important to me:

Here tucked beneath the paper is a green journaling tag.  A personal and private note from daughter to mother.

A lovely cluster of flowers a reminder of the gift of gardening that my mom taught me.

Last of all I dug into my rub on stash and used lots on my layout:

I shed a few tears working on this layout. I reminded myself that I need to start taking care of me. One day at a time Debbie, one day at a time. . .

And yes I can smile . . . here is the proof:

Thanks for stopping by!

. . . Debbie